No more Jetsam

Augggggghhhhhhh!!!!

Five hours. Two colors. 1740 Stitches. 7/8 of an inch. How in the world am I ever going to get this sweater finished by Thanksgiving?

On the good side, it will be heavy and warm. Lots of wool. But I am working on it maniacally almost nonstop from the time I get home from work and shove down some supper until bedtime. And most of the weekend. It’s a race against time and usually I win those by pushing everything else aside and driving single-mindedly on.

Well, everything is already aside here. It reminds me of one of my favorite Mark Twain stories. One of my favorite stories attributed to Mark Twain. (I found out once not to depend on sources for quotes. I had a list of four or five P.T. Barnum quotes, and it turns out he never said any of them, including "there’s a sucker born every minute.")

Here’s the story as Twain tells it to his audience:

There was a man once who was in failing health. At last he became so worried he went to his doctor, who gave him a thorough examination and sat the man down for a stern lecture. "You cannot possibly survive these ailments unless you instantly give up drinking, give up smoking, and give up chasing women."

The man looked distressed. "But doctor," he pleaded, "I don’t do any of those things."

At this point Twain looks mournfully at his audience, puffing on his big cigar:

"I tell you truly, ladies and gentlemen, this man was a sinking ship with nothing left to throw overboard."

I too have nothing left to throw overboard. It’s just me, several hundred yards of yarn, and the clock.